What I learned this semester is that I am a late bloomer and that my OCD has gotten in the way of a lot of critical development in my brain. I know I am smart, however there are things I should have learned a long time ago. Confidence I should have instilled in myself in high school. I am sad that “getting better” is going to be hard for me, but I am glad I am able to recognize all of my short comings.
I got straight B’s this semester. I am disappointed that I can’t be an A student right now. I would like to blame my job for getting in the way of my study time, my boyfriend for bringing obtrusive emotions, my living situation that brings me anger, and my own inner critic that brings me down when it is counter productive to do so. Not to mention my severe procrastination. I am hoping next semester, jazz will implement some work ethic skills that will help me with classes, and life overall. I am hoping I will be able to work less and or find a better job.
I need some humility. I am not hot shit. I am so weird. Not confident, yet over confident. I am not sure which i need to clean up.
