Sitting alone in my car with my fries looking through facebook feeds that don’t concern me at all. This most likely, at least in my eyes, makes me a loser. Someone engrossed in everybody elses lives except my own. Deciding I am a discard and yearning for others attention that I think I don’t deserve. I don’t know why I’m like this. Why I’m so ant-social. Maybe it was because of high school, and the fact that I never really had people in my own grade to talk with. Always with one boy to control and be with. Somewhere somehow I fell off the bus, and have not gotten on. I don’t know why I’m so afraid of intimacy and getting along with others but I hope its something I can get to aleviate with my doctor. I also need to hang out with other people more. I’m so tired of my social group being limited to my boyfriend and choir kids. I wish linda would want to hang out. I hope rachel and I -really- hang out over break, and I want to make us REAL friends. Not any informal crap. I hate that I’m so fucking formal. Blegh.
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